If you are a Carer, resident in East Suffolk, then you may be interested in the newly emerging local independent support group, the Rural East Suffolk Carers Action Network (RESCAN).

They have started by holding informal coff IP17 1AF ee sessions (10-11am), usually on the second Thursday of every month. These meetings take place at The Market Hall, High Street, Saxmundham, IP17 1AF , where Carers will be able to exchange one-to-one emotional support, information and advice on such topics as respite care, transport and local services.

A Carer is a person of any age, who without being employed as such, cares for another person who needs ongoing support because of a learning disability, a long term medical condition, a mental illness, a physical disability, frailty or the need for palliative care. A carer may or not be a family member and may or may not live with the person.

For further information, click here.

Make a deposit in your sibling child's emotional bank account

The idea of having an Emotional Bank Account comes from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey. He suggests that in the same way as you can deposit money in a bank account or you can withdraw money from it, you can make an emotional deposit into or withdrawal from your child's emotional bank account. 

Examples of deposits

• 
  Saying thanks to your child for something they have done
  Listening without interrupting to what he or she is saying
  Telling your child you love him/her
  Watching him or her at a school event
  Spending some time with your child to play or do a fun thing together
  Getting him or her a little treat
  Telling your child that you are proud of him/her
  Giving a compliment
  Saying ‘yes' to something
  Keeping a promise

Examples of withdrawals

• 
  Being nagged
  Being told that he or she is untidy, lazy, unkind, etc...
  Always being asked to put their brother or sister first
  Being told that you don't have time to listen
  Being spoken to angrily or in a harsh way
  Being told all the things they have to do
  Being ignored

For many children – not just siblings of disabled children – their emotional bank account may be empty or very low, as many of their daily interactions with family members or other adults may involve being told off, or being asked to do jobs or homework, getting the brunt of a parents or other child's bad mood...

When you next speak to or interact with your sibling child, ask yourself whether what you say or do is going to be a deposit into or a withdrawal from their emotional bank account. ‘How will this make my child feel about him/herself?'  A lot of what we say as parents can be totally automatic – we say it before we think about it.

See if you can increase the deposits and reduce the withdrawals this week – it may help you to keep a note of how you are doing. This will make you more aware of what you say on a regular basis. It will also make you feel better about yourself as a parent, as you notice how your child responds positively to this.